Laurel, whatever you focus on, you will experience.
When you talk about "what is" or "what was," even if you're just explaining to a friendly ear, you project more of the same into the future. If you ask more than you give thanks, you'll believe less in your own power. And if you insist that it's hard and that you're lonely, you'll find that it is, and you are.
Yet, always you can choose to focus on what's good.
Tallyho,
The Universe
Laurel... whatever you focus on, you will experience.